this is the percussion section

Freshers' Week

2010-10-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

And here I am in front of my laptop in my room situated in Wolfson Building.

Freshers' week had just gone by and it consisted of many social events, formals with tutors and not forgetting the endless nights out pub crawling, as well as clubbing.

It's tough - living alone, having to make new friends, waking up on time to an alarm clock.

But my journey has only just been starting to begin.

Oxford. St Hugh's College. Mathematics and Statistics.

2010-05-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

And we met.

Dancing with you in the summer rain,

Together forever and never to part.

Lost in emotion,

I stand accused of love in the first degree.

2010-05-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

The boundless ocean we once overlooked.

We had often talked about our ideals, shared perspectives and discussed interesting mathematical rants. And as always, I had never once been bored of these.

It had quite become like a daily routine, having your name being pronounced in an robotic fashion by my e71 whenever you called. Or receiving texts of song lyrics out of the blue.

Notice they are all no longer in present tense. Perhaps they never will be, anymore.

2010-04-27T11:12:00.001-07:00

If it doesn't fit the bill, then I won't want to try anymore. Guess I have to accept it, as much as I don't want to. I hate the feeling of uncertainty and I need assurance.

It is like a game, where all the rules are not stated. No one knows what could be within the regulated boundaries, and all one can do is to try - at the risk of violation. Sometimes it reaches a point where a choice seems to be faced with the fate of determinism. How oxymoronic.

Put it into context.

2010-04-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

It has been joyous.

I have always admired the innocuousness in little kids. In the typical human race, we face societal pressures to conform to the ideals of a successful life, unconsciously forsaking the subtleties of happiness in life.

I know one day, it would be different. But how different?

This whole issue of ambiguity has come to another level of understanding.

2010-04-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

If you never intended it, don't.

2010-04-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

Of middle-child syndrome

Left unmentioned; unheard of.

It doesn't really matter.

I have always thought that so long as you try your best, everything will be fine. The apparent barrier of which doesn't seem to obliterate with the progress of time is killing me. I need an answer pronto.

Or perhaps, as aptly as it can be,

MLIA.

2010-02-24T17:12:00.000-08:00

I have never thought that a class of which I don't meet often in school can breed such great and awesome friendships.

Sometimes, in life, it is not the number of friends you have that matters, but the kind of friends that you happen to chance upon.

I miss the schooling days. I wonder if I will retract my words in half a year to come.

2010-02-16T06:36:00.001-08:00

Everyone seems to be addicted to Bejeweled Blitz on facebook. And I am no exception. Yet I never hesitate to blame my low score on my innate disability to differentiate the colours of the triangular/hexagonal/diamond shapes of which one will have to swap in exchange of a higher score.

Chinese new year has been rather eventful considering the number of poker and mahjong games I have played. Lady luck's been smiling at me for most of the games and that translates into my perennial happiness :)

2010-02-10T18:03:00.001-08:00

So finally, I went chinese new year shopping yesterday. I didn't really have the mood after tuition, partly due to the immense fatigue, and also that I hadn't recover from the joy of youwontneedtoknowwhat. :D

I think my inclination towards music genre shifts so periodically as if following a menstrual cycle (that would be, 28 days? Ah obviously something that I won't be able to understand anyway). I could be totally addicted to Mahler Symphonies (Yes, band geek much!), and in a few days time, I would be listening to Tiesto, and then Avenged Sevenfold. Perhaps, my musical taste has some correlation to something of which I haven't yet fathom.

2010-02-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

Dragonforce has always been my channel for emotional release. The insane bass drumming never fails to work in accordance with my pulse of suppressed anger. High range of vocals, allowing the freedom of expression. Ah, this is how I acquaint with my music.

Texts are not only ubiquitous but an important aspect of our lives. Literally a written form of communication, it also creates a multitude of interpretations of the sender's emotional relation with the recipient. A null text only makes things worse.

I somehow feel the prejudice against me. Could it be the middle entity syndrome? I never seem to be good enough to 'redeem' even a proper future for myself. Notwithstanding the efforts I've put in to even create any opportunity for myself. Now, issues of such minute degree of notice are even being brought to the table of arguments.

2010-02-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

FB-ed.

I do not know how to play this game anymore.

Going for 21st parties seems like a chore these days. Yet it's everyone's special twentyfirsts, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining. I wonder how would mine be like.

2010-02-06T09:06:00.001-08:00

I dreamt of you.

How I wish I was caught in that virtual world, only without knowing that it was one.

But it didn't really matter after all.

2010-02-02T05:35:00.000-08:00

We mentioned emotion as a way of knowing during KI lesson today and this thought struck me.

Has my emotion caused me to construe the idea of affection or did the perceived experience, resulting in a perception of human interaction, construct the knowledge of the concept of love?

I elucidated on the emotion-reason continuum to my students and they seemed slightly lost.

I wish I could take a step into the experience machine and check all the boxes of 'wants', living in the delusion of happiness and joy. Except that I won't know that I've chosen to deceive myself.

Ironically, perhaps it could be my own decision to lead this mixed emotions life, considering that a happy and blissful life isn't much of a challenge to live in.

Or maybe not. :(

2010-01-31T09:43:00.000-08:00

I hate you.

But I know I still love you.

2010-01-31T09:26:00.001-08:00

'I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night'

The music's been repetitively echoing in my mental self. The feeling of something blissful happening in a particular night leads to a sense of contentment. However, it was not the case for me tonight (or for that case, any night).

I hate facebook in its publicizing of events of which I am inclined towards not knowing.

As opposed to Humean scepticism, the causal link between two persons' events in life could be substantiated through the use of emotions. There need not be any forms of perceptive agreement nor logical understanding. The emotional attachment and affection acts as a medium for the changes in one's life with regard to the other's.

And I see this happening in me, though it's of a different version void of the word, synonymous with love.

I have school tomorrow.

it's been long

2010-01-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

Close to a year of stagnation?

Perhaps my blog's losing it's raison d'être. (and I insist the 'ê' has to be written that way)

The journey's been quite a ride so far. The end of a year long's relationship, as well as divorce of a 21 months long nation-bonded service, getting into Oxford and taking up the challenge to be a KI teacher in DHS. It's been life-changing.

Now as I blog, I am sitting in front of my laptop in the staff room, perusing philosophical essays/theories. (and the sorting out of its paraphernalia for my upcoming 1.5hr of lesson) The moral obligation to ensure that my students really do understand the abstruse subject sets me on doing my best.

My parents are encouraging me to take up a MOE scholarship. But would I really want to be in the teaching career. My answer is a firm no, as of now.

The incessant quibbles over the degree I will be reading at the end of the year are not helping me in any sense. I always adopt the escapist approach - that is to tell myself that everything will be fine if we subscribe to determinism and when the time comes, I will know what to decide on.

Yet, as much as many would think my future looks bright and worry-free, it isn't the case.

I am shrouded by much worries, worries of which are inconvenient to elucidate in a blog.

Lost. Period.

2009-07-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

It has been long since I last blogged.

My attempt in the search of a software to convert my gossip girls dvds into ipod-readable files was futile. And it annoys me.

Je cherche software. Yea that's a small snippet of my French learning for 4 months! I've decided to take a hiatus from all the convoluted conjunctions and whatnots in the French language, not easy at all!

Just a daily dose of randomness, I haven't gotten to know how to use Itune even know I own an Ipod since I was secondary 4.

Perhaps, our lives are but just really cooped up with daily affairs and a constant regression of chain activities that we have to be involved in one way or another. Not being able to see each other for an extended period of time (of subtle exaggerration i'd profess) isn't really healthy but I'd still stand by it.

2009-02-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

Life's been good. No more angsty retards controlling our military lives.

WE OWN IT, WE LIVE IT. somewhat the most I can remember about our Delta motto or something.

So I made a visit to SAFTI today. And heard the cadets doing their route march. Of great memories, especially with slackten singing our 'don't look back in anger' by oasis, and many other random songs.

And I would say as usual, being so cliched, time actually does fly. I have been in my new place for less than 2 months and it feels like I am really nearing my ORD. Definitely, I would relish the thought of having to be 'operational-ready' any time soon, but it would only mean a new commencement of another phase of my life.

I am a great advocate of brevity. Yet many a time, I have to go on lamenting about my troubled life and everything. And it perennially ends up to everyone finding my blabberings inscrutable.

An enigma. Unfathomable.

No one understands.

This is just totally psuedo-emo. Like people will read and go, what the hell is this person talking about. But I do not really care.

Sometimes it just reaches to this certain saturated stage where it is inundated by thick thoughts of unforeseen circumstances, dilemmas, predicaments.

Hear me out.

2008-12-23T02:08:00.000-08:00

and if you even bothered.

... always the uncertainty felt whenever I talked to you.
of a myriad of consequences that could happen if I ever talk about it.

Let it be fate that it happens, if it ever do.
Let there not be any jaded feelings no more.

2008-12-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

The surrealistic feeling of commissioning hit me as our peak caps went flying high up into the sky.

Having my parents putting on the 2LT insignia on my shoulders was awesome. I never really envisioned that this day was going to come. Not until a week before did close and anxious anticipation set in for me.

Yes and as they would say, with greater power comes greater responsibility. Yet, I do not feel that I'm that ready to take that up. It's like having to know a plethora of management and decision-making skills just as the peak caps were being thrown up into the air, as if an instant access into the knowledge bank.

Well, commissioning ball's tomorrow and I'm slightly excited over it. Let's just hope it'd turn out well as all 2LTs (to-be no more) reminisce their service term and pro term days, hanging out with their beloved buddies through all thick and thins during inane exercises and operationally challenging Ex SE.

Kudos to all who did it, just as I did. =D

2008-12-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

i'm an officer-to-be no more.

71/08 OCC.

2008-10-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

I would really hope you will understand how I feel. I can't live this life devoid of something so important.

It's a need, never a want.

And it sucks to have such a culmination.

so many dc circuits.

2008-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

TAIWAN. balls to you.

(of security reasons, substituted vocabularies will be used)
Holiday to taiwan ain't too exciting for me. Activities were dumb, and that particular suppsedly high-key one was definitely a screw-up. Say no more will I.

As of the 3 days at Taipei, it was not as great as I envisioned it to be. Talking about holiday, I've got to give my family's korea trip a miss, all thanks to the mandatory service. Oh, and places of interests at Taiwan were just disappointments after another.

Law or Mathematics. One of much practical considerations, while the other of passionate pursuit of academia. I would probably not be able to decide till I really have to, in the end.

Cartoons are for kids. But I do relish having some interactions with it. And you know the reason, of immense pleasurable excitment and subtle indications of a manifested concern. Makes no sense, hell yea I know.

And I would often fathom if interest for someone is always that complicated and somewhat like a complex and convulated labyrinth, no one will ever come close to knowing it well. Having to spend time together walking down the beach, watching a movie, or just plain shopping increasingly explains one's need of the other, or rather just a liberation of boredom - of no particular significance. That sucks. Suppressed feelings and inaccessible vault to spill all the emotional rants would bring one to a state of constipated weariness.

Who knows, anything could happen. Will the fantasies portrayed in cartoons ever come alive?
If there is the murphy's law that shit happens, well un-shits might just happen out of our expectation or anticipation, resulting in a release of blissful cries.

Sucks to be me.

2008-09-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

mid-(pro)term crisis? what a wholeload of bull.

i have a proclivity for shapely blondes. oh kidding, much as the word has got sexual innuendo attached to it. the people in my course don't seem too nice, except for a handful of them. my buddy's sort of enigmatic, not to much of an extent but definitely to an indefinitely considerable amount.

having the thought of going to taiwan irks me. it induces such an emotional attack as if a credit crunch hit me so hard im in such a financial turmoil. talk about financial status; credit-usage doesn't help much in meliorating my already abysmal situation.

the one you hope and silently pray to just spend time at the seaside, basking under the warmth of the scorching sun and relishing in the caress of the landbreeze (or seabreeze? whatever.) sometimes, i just do wonder if miracles do exist, or if it is facing some sort of an existential dilemma. perhaps it does, and i would choose to take a belief in that. all the little conversations just to put a subtle smile on my seemingly-herpes-infested lips.

living in the age of emo-raging period, it is inevitable to feel the suddeness in its strikes of emotional trauma, as if on a roller coaster ride having flung from seat to seat. (though it techincally doesn't happen, but hell yea just a metaphor!) i hate this damn life of army regimentation and of unsatisfied commitment in the belief of its supposedly-proper system. yea, i don't believe in the system.

ahhh probably one of the last (or last?) entry before i fly off to ROC, the republic of china. i am certainly not looking forward to it, much as i would just want to go there for the 3 days r&r and back to singapore for commissioning! =) cheeros.

2008-07-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

Why do I have to leave my wallet in my bunk at Kranji Camp III!?

This has resulted in me having sudden bouts of paranoia, of great insecurity not having my 11B nor my cards with me. As much as it suffices to grab hold of cold hard cash from my brother (which essentially has the similar capability to exchange it with material needs), it does not warrant me any free access to the might-zouk, nor any priority queue in there. Now, that sucks - having to join the influx of people queuing hours before the door opens or something. Oh, and Phutureeeee tickets are really limited for that case!

Perhaps, it's been a long time since I blogged. (But whatever, since I always say that, considering the precious moments I have out of camp resulting in the lack of time to blog.) Reading my previous blog, it was when I was in BMT, slogging my ass of the field camp thinking it's already the worst thing that can happen in army, but I was definitely wrong.

Time check, and now I am already in my professional term of my officer cadet course. Ah, officer-to-be 2LT Lim will definitely lift up to his friends and family's expectations of becoming a well-nutured leader for our nation. (How bullshit that sounds) And in any case, (or perhaps, of many cases) logistics ain't as easy as it sounds, or of any sort of just a scummish figurehead job.

Well oh well, service term was a great time, making friends of slack ten and going through the suckiest moments back in Delta. My buddy's great, section was excellent and of not much politics. (which seems vaguely awkward since there is much potential in it) Long extended 12-days section field camp, becoming-platoon-sergeant platoon field camp, exercise spade and all those deadly times out in the field will be times to be remembered. Even though we will all eventually get our ubiquitous single black bar up at our shoulder (or from effect of next year, near our chest area) having to go through the treachorous route of Delta for service term has definitely make me feel that I've truly earned it my way. (Not that the other wings haven't; of any case, who wouldn't want a slacker path to the same result, right?) My instructor Kelvin was a very encouraging 'teacher' (I would consider), and this whole 12 weeks was both sucky and awesome.

And now, logistics' been quite okay. (Not that I know much of it anyway) I'll just hope it'd be a fulfilling course as I continue to learn much about it. Till then, see you guys!

2008-02-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

Oh so many things have happened and as usual, I do not know where to begin from.
(It feels to me that it is no longer within my capacity to type or write proper sentences in English, all thanks to my sad platoon sergeant who has never passed his English examination. Imagine the kind of English I hear everyday.)

The new army life is starting to set in comfortably, in the sense- I do not feel that away-from-home and perpetually having the awkward feeling of sleeping in another alienated place. I guess it's probably the company and friends I've made thus far, knowing that we should just continue to strive on as there're 48 other platoonmates going through this shithole-like place with many dumb activities like BCCT (Basic Close Combat Training) with me. On a separate note, the militaristic army life has definitely changed my lifestyle. I've learnt to be more independent in a way and how to deal with extreme fatigue which isn't a very fun thing to do- it's like forcing oneself against the nature of my anatomy.

Enough about army. In this time of struggle, it seems apparent to me how friendships are being tested. Be it, just a few words worth of message or anything, it makes you feel really good to know that there are people out there who actually care. The gargantuan number of acquaintances that constitutes my phone contact list and everything can never be compared to a few close friends that I could ever make thus far in my days.

I learn to cherish people around me better. Whenever I book out and see my gramps, it strikes to me how much closer to them I can get. I just hope that they stay strong and healthy.

2007-12-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh now when's the last time I blogged?

Well I'd say that it's been a real roller coasters of fun, excitement, emotions and everything. A levels didn't really quite culminate in such a clamorous uproar I would've expected it to be. Not to mention the immediate-post of it; our class just have to be a mixed chemistry and literature students, and we didn't end A levels together. Ugh.

Anyway, the life after examinations is just blissful! You watch television without having to feel guilty about it; you game all day and just eat, sleep and play mahjong! Having nothing to worry about and just hanging out with friends with no aims in mind is fun. Yea and this sequence just repeats itself each day until THE DAY looms close.

And yes, you've probably guessed it right. As a combat-fit citizen of Singapore, I have to serve national service. Ah the mandatory regimental treatment all 18year olds have to go through. Looking at the brighter side, yes, at last I'm training and running everyday to get myself into good shape. Oh and I finally get money from another source other than my parents, which is quite a good thing in a way. Not forgetting, I'm getting older/matured/less pampered/whatever.

I'm making this a long one since I've not many days left to blog; alright, I'm sounding as if my days are numbered. Yes, in a way, like how some mandatory regimental thing is going to rob me of my social life and all. I can't imagine myself only having 2 out of 7 days in a week to meet up with friends and hang out with my family and everything. That would total up to 8 days per month! That's totally miserable but I'll see what we can do, that's life for a 18 year old Singaporean guy.

Yes, everyone seems to be blogging on how this year-end will lead on to a new phase of life. For the girls, it would be the university which kind of determines the choice of job they are going to get for the rest of their lives, and for the guys, it's army- the strenuous period of physical and emotional struggle. And I'd second that anytime. It's really the term of my life that totally throws me into this cave of uncertainty, unknowing which directions of my life I should take and everything. But perhaps it's determinism that controls everything and thus threatening the free-will idea. I am more inclined towards this view as it seems as if things are planned in an intricate way that seems as though there is actually a choice in our every move in life.

I think I've grown up. As much as I feel that I'm still the young kid in secondary school, I feel that I've been giving thoughts to a lot of things that happened in my life. Those matters closest to my heart, and all the metaphysical reasonings of this world and all still strike me as interesting since the introduction of it in my KI lessons. Sometimes, the truths of many practicalities in life are just cruel- the harsh cruelty of it all. I've to learn to accept many new understandings and soon step into a whole new phase of my life. Many things scare me; and if I could, I would just want to remain as a little kid, just playing my games, getting pocket allowance from my parents and live life as if tomorrow's just another day of fun and laughter, not forgetting that I'll get to watch my favorite cartoon. It's sad, that we are stuck in this continuous vicious cycle called ageing where many expectations are already set once you reach a certain age gap. And the ending doesn't seem to attractive, especially when it's inevitable.

Emo, emo, emo. I'm usually not such a guy-in-deep-thought kind of person; it must be the night that's feeding me with such inane blabberings.

2007-11-14T01:31:00.000-08:00

The journey through 1000 multiple-choice questions in preparation for chemistry paper one
has commenced.

2007-10-24T12:09:00.001-07:00

Does it suggest any of those I thought of?
Let me fill the emptiness, let me show the way.
I'm always intrigued by many wonders of the world.

The main reason why we turn to religion is because we hope that afterall the universe has a meaning and not just a wrinkle in the fabric of nothingness.

My days have come.

2007-10-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

no one will understand. no one.

oh and mandy moore's rendition of rihanna's umbrella is just so emo. yea rayner, good taste! for the first time i totally concurred. gee. and no more long prose for blog entries as i reckoned it's too cumbersome.

and i want A levels to end now. yea stop procrastinating and continue your studies! but it's just so overwhelming, as the dates draw by. you know, one more odd week to KI examination! and in a month's time, all's gone and i hope i'll enjoy without any worries or regret. come on i can do it!

also, morbid dreams don't make my nights any better than the day-time. i dreamt of people already me dying, my friends and i perishing as if books really have a strange inclination to murder the souls and lives of their fellow readers. perhaps the knowledge embedded in the tommes are but like their souls, and the more we absorb their 'power' they'll soon turn evil and one day, kill you! and yea teachers, just stand by, guffawing away. how nice of them.

2007-10-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Of late, it seems like a mad-dash of knowledge-insertion into our micro chips, megabytes of free memory. Indeed, the prelims have been over but as soon as it marks the culmination of it, it also commences the intensive mugging up for the not-too-far-away (in fact, soon) Alevels.

I often ask myself what it would be like if I were to conscientiously do my tutorials and getting on track with the syllabus, as the terms passed. But do not cry over spilt milk (ok, not too appropriate to be used in this context but oh well...) as what matters now is to go back to studying and not waste time on facebook or any of that sort.

Friday was quite a special day. Yes, and as brother would say, I'd start to emo on my blog, reminiscing the times we had as a class, the late nights in school, poking fun with each other on the most inane matters, skipping wednesday physics lecture together to go for lunch at parkway etc. Last night I was reading up on the problem of free-will and how determinism can threaten our free-will. As much as I do not want to conceive determinism wholly, it feels as if my whole jc life has been planned out, in intricate details to every trivia in my life, and it just happened as how the 'book' dictate it to happen. It's scary, certainly, that it could be that free-will, the idea of how one is responsible for choices in life, is but just an illusion and we are living in a psuedo-world, in an entrapment filled with manipulated illusions of choice.

Back to school on Friday, we took a lot of pictures. And without fail, a camera-shy guy like me would not relish indulging myself being captured by the evil computerised machine which can replicate the same 'me' on a planar surface called photograph, or jpeg file. Hoho or could that be just ironic. But I certainly am blessed enough to be in this class and I like my classmates a lot as they are a bunch of easy-going people, not like what a jc class would probably end up to be: all political and bitchy. They are people you can call anytime to talk about anything and there are also people who will lend you notes selflessly! =)

Life in Victoria Junior College has been a fun one, I must say. I like my Civics tutor and I couldn't imagine myself under the tyranny of another fierce and stupidly-strict teacher. Kudos to Mr Har! And even though he probably wouldn't see this, I'm really grateful for him as he's such a patient teacher who has such a high threshold of tolerance, albeit him having to ring my home a couple of times to wake me up to go to school or something of that sort.

Chemistry sounds enigmatic to me in some manner. I've no idea why. It's probably because of the nature of the subject being related with weird micro-molecules of ketones and carboxylic acids and whatever you call them. Plus, my chemistry teacher isn't much of an alleviation of the problem!

Oh and before I forget, I would like to leave a note to my brother since she (ya, it's a she. haha) requested/demanded of some sort for this section of it to be posted in my blog, and here it goes...

'BROTHER, where is your tie!!' I will never forget this for my life. Two years past, yes 24 months' going to pass, yet I will still, without fail, tease you about the non-existence of Ms Gan JiaJia being in ODAC, and thus having to wear a tie. Undoubtedly, you've been a cheerful person and probably one of the few closer friends I've made in my class. At times, you seem fierce and all but I know you're a benign person. (Ha that sounds old.) Remember the time when we were so sad that we've no one to message at night? We just started to sms each other talking about nonsensical stuff under the sun! And also, the weird letter thing we wrote during mathematics lecture and promised to exchange back during graduation! I still keep it right in my cupboard! It is such stupid and insipid stuff we do that makes school life much bearable. And truly I'm grateful for a friend like you. GO BROTHERR, you can do it for the As!

2007-10-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Mei dang wo kan jian ni, wo de xin bu jin hui duo tiao ji xia. Wo hen xiang gao shu ni: shidoni san wa nihonjin wo daisuki desu. nihongo mo! demo, nihongo wa tote mo eta desune. zannen yo. nihongo wo oshieteruyo? Wa hm jai an zua ga ri gong, dan ci wo gan guan kir dan. Zong wo zit rit wa eh zai ri si eh su kawa. One day...

2007-10-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

The utter propensity for humans in seeking a bedrock of certainty leads to the search for such a 'perfection'. Will there ever be a 100% certainty in anything we perceive? The obfuscating question has set off many minds into cases of mental derangement or something of sort.

I came across this GP essay pertaining to the question 'Is religion for the weak?' The aforementioned inclination of humans to know something beyond doubt is undeniably innate. Or some could arguably say that the man-conjured idea of omnipotence resulting in the concept of certainty might be responsible to some extent but this is not the point. We assume that certainty, as what epistemology largely seeks to attain in knowing something, is of existence and such a concept is, though intangible, a necessary condition in discussing the above issue meaningfully.

There are many reasons why people turn to religion. Perhaps the purely instance of being born in a family of staunch devotee of Buddhism/Christianity/Islamism, could render someone a religious person at birth. There could be probability of him/her to backslide but the chances are miniscule. Would it then be fair to say that religion, playing a role in his life, is for this weak person? It has thus assumed that there is a certain correlation between the choice of birth into a particular family and turning to religion for its purposes, which is utterly ludicrous.

In religious beliefs, it is obvious that what we know through religion is something that religious people only believe, through purely its linguistic root of the word 'belief', and this suggests a lack of hardrock certainty. No doubt, there is no way for anyone to justify, with clear empirical evidence that any God does exist, since it is an intangible concept of the omnipotent God. This leads to having people taking a step of faith to believe in religions. Do we consider these people weak?

The definition of weak could be dealt with in different ways. There is the physical weakness of one's inability to lift slightly heavier objects, which we all can see, is not what the word 'weak' is used as in this context. More probably, the mental weakness of one, succumbing to religion to seek blissful ignorance, of just believing and not taking the extra efforts to know more through mental thought experiments which could be detrimental to one's mental state.

What am I driving at? What is my stance? I feel that religion is should be not only be for the weak, but the strong also needs religion to satisfy one's insatiable appetite of certainty in life. Yes, I do agree that there are many weak people turning/ resorting to religion just to pacify themselves and deluding themselves in thinking that there is God and that He will help them in their life. These weak people do not seem to understand or do not seem to bother to understand the real value of religion other than its pronouncement of help bestowed upon people who believe, something which one can easily, and superficially, say that they do.

I've identified that as religion could be for the weak, it also plays a pertinent role in the hearts and minds of the strong. Firstly, by the word strong, we could mean two different kinds of people; strong in the sense of having power over others, and secondly being strong and intellectually empowered to better hone his/her skill of critical reasoning, in an attempt to know more knowledge bounded by a stringent conditions. For the former, even a strong leader/politician will not be able to know, for sure, whether what is going to happen in the future, or what will happen to us when we die. Just as helpless as the weak and almost everyone else in this dimension, we will never/(seem to never?) grasp any knowledge we 'know' as certain as it is always questionable. Religion is a platform for humans to rest such worries and unfathomable concerns to the higher beings, that is if higher beings do exist int he first place.

Secondly, perhaps the more philosophically challenged humans might be a step closer to certainty in knowledge, or as so they say, being on their way out of the Plato's Cave, while the others remained chained to the walls only perceiving the shadows of manipulators uncovering only what they want to reveal. There seems to be quite a breakthrough in philosophy of identifying axioms and self-evident truth, but as the nature of its own subject, it is always open to doubt in another perspective resulting in what we laymens will condemn as futile. In such intellects' point of view, religion is just a fast escape out of this whole labyrinth of convoluted ideas and as such, is only for the weak. I will not say that I disagree with this.

Conclusively, there are many vagueness in the question, such as what weak might suggest. Religion is for the weak, as I would agree as much so, but it is also important for the strong as suggested above. As mentioned in the first paragraph, the choice of what one wants to choose to indulge/suffer in to either seek thorough analysis of knowledge and its basis is what causes this question. In all, the resolution to the enigmatic interrelations between religion and knowing more than what we could have such taken as face-value will remain as a Gordian knot, as much as for this lifetime of mine.

2007-09-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

There are just so many things to say.
I wish I could speak fluent Japanese.

Prelims results ain't too good. I'm just jaded but at the same time, I am motivated to get my As. I do not want to let my spirit falter in inferiority.

2007-09-25T12:18:00.001-07:00

there are just so many things i want to relish in, but the cruel reality just struvk me so badly. prelims just ended YESTERDAY, and i'll be going back to scheduled-mundane 'events' tomorrow in the sad organisation called school. it's past 3a.m. and it's stupid to be online at this wee-hour of the early/ late (?) day. i'm afraid of school; like how i was so terrorized by the hallucinated blue creatures (or were they dogs?) when i was a little boy. the night seems so still. lugubriousness sinks in, but i do not want to be an emo boy. it sucks, it always sucks to be one. dwelling in one's own pity, in an attempt to alleviate your own abysmal state yet not doing it the right way.

i hate my chemistry teacher. i really do. i know i shouldn't, but the thought of her hypocritical being irks me. perhaps i'm just extenuating my bad circumstance of having a really 'awesome' record for my attendance. but still, i do - hate her.

pool, drink, club, fun. all i want to do is get high (not thaaat high, but high enough to transcend me dimensionally into a world of fleeting euphoria.) and not bother about the loneliness and fear of everything. (yes including polar-opposite ideas of dogs and the radical scepticism of entities, perhaps the reality and existence of energy bubbles floating in this nothingness.)

this is such a weird post. this is not sidney.

2007-09-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

it has been a long struggle, both mentally and physically.

and yes.
nothing is impossible; if you believe in it.
maybe one day, it could just happen.

2007-08-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

I've yet to blog about my 14hours dream in pent-up stress! Before I laid on my bed to wish for a good night's sleep, I was doing my independent study (as usual) for the past 5 hours.

and then as I soon fell asleep, my mind never did spare me.

INTUITIVE KNOWLDEGE! KI IS 40%
what do YOU know about MUSIC! nature of knowledge!
JUSTIFY! propositional knowledge.

I went into a 14hours psychological war which rendered me all drained mentally when I woke up.

Look what stress can do to you.

Everyone's thinking/talking/mugging for/analysising/counting down to PRELIMS.
omgg. it's looming.

2007-08-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

OH you know what,
SCREW YOU BECAUSE

I HATE YOU.

2007-08-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I do wonder what I'm being perceived as.
I'm equally confused by such enigmatic mannerism.

Judging by countless events, I am obviously persona non grata.
But is that really how it is? I'm in a foul mood.

I'll never get to know the answer; after all, we're all stuck in egocentric predicaments.

SIGH.

2007-08-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

that light shining at the end of the tunnel.

seemingly so enticing; i never dared to look straight.
it's been long, really long.
how i love the pseudonym.

2007-07-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

We're but just human beings who are afraid of solitude. No one daresay they relish being alone, especially myself. In the constant struggle and escape from it, we seek refuge in people, friends and family. Ignorance is bliss as many a time, some refugee camps are not willing to house you. We live in comfort zone till the day when the harsh reality dawn upon you. Flunk right into the abyss of loneliness, one can't help but just hope against hope that there'll just be something there to hold you.

I'm scared of the cruel reality of society.

2007-07-25T06:02:00.000-07:00

It's been long since I've felt this way.

cul-de-sac.

2007-07-18T02:25:00.000-07:00

Plus, it's so difficult to tag-reply so many people, I'll do it here!

vera(1): you don't dig alright! it's my real dirty lil' secrets. hahah!
vera(2): i own? no i don't. the hk cafe guy owned us the mango ice, moohaha!
vera(3): i can't. and i woke up at 1 today again! uhhhh!
liann: oh man that tag was posted 3 weeks ago! and yea i did had jetlag but it's all over. duh. haha and hope you're doing fine in school and everything!
eliz(1): hi my pseudo true friend, you're no longer the top! in any case, i bet you're so happy you WERE my truest friend! haha
eliz(2): haha no longer my true friend, told'cha!
wanxin: hi sister! how did you get here anyway!
xiang: and i do not look good in whatever you're saying! haha see you around in school!
xinhui: i've no idea what you're talking about. you can't believe i'm smart? that's a sad thing. haha kidding!
adwyn: i guess you blog too? it's the sad tagboard that screwed up. i do blog quite often! haha
deb(1): i'm not your pet turtle ._. and facebook is grrrrr.
deb(2): yup and another NEW POST too!
deb(3): SHUTS. hahaha
jasm: i'd love to go to school if it ain't so early ya. haha yesyes present. zomg i'm such a procrastinator! but i bet you'll love the present anyway.
henry: hi roommate! gridwars in imac, uhhh! it sucks in my laptop.
meiyi: i'm not your SL i'm your COOLEST SL. hahah jk. yea but oh well, hope you give ERHM a chance! hahaha

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

2007-07-18T01:54:00.000-07:00

ZOMG I'm finally blogging.
The 403 error that perpetually flashed out whenever I tried to view my tagboard caused the hiatus. It ain't my fault.

In any case, it's been quite a topsy turvy period for me in the ensuing weeks after my holidays in America. Things changed; perspectives matured, yet some people will probably expostulate that, but whatever ._.

School's really been tough. In a sense, I've been so accustomed to sleeping till the afternoon I can't seem to wake up on time to go to school. Sometimes, (yes sometimes) I'd unfeelingly skip school and not feel a single tinge of guilt, scuffling back into my dreams of wild fantasies.

Yes, dreams. Dreams are but just semi-consciousness which can be some sort of a transcendental vehicle to alleviate one's trouble and bringing him/her to a magical world of fun-filled merriment and seventh heaven! These days I've been having dreams which probably suggest some form of premonition? How bizarre at times.

Common tests' results have been quite disappointing. I've gotten grades I've never ever gotten before in my entire life. But it's probably a calling to stop being so complacent. At times, I just feel dumb, recalling the moment when I got back my Olevels result.

And yes, some happenings these days.
- SYF Presentation night- showcase of the top bands in Singapore!
It ain't too good but well, cam whorement was great. Yet, the momentary thought that it's probably the last time I'm going to play in a band with people I really treasure a lot could easily spark of the lugubriousness in me. Life is harsh, as the saying goes, 'tian xia wu bu shan zi yan xi!'

- The return of the JJ.
We went to kayak notwithstanding the fact that only stephanie wanted to, and that the rest wanted to transform. Yes, transform into megan fox and slurps. (ew that sounds kind'a wrong.)

-Oh yes and how can I forget, the house birthday party at Clara's house!
Zhuangyong's been a great sport and the whole rameses group of friends just make me feel so 'at home'. To think I almost wanted to skip all the OGL meetings and quit being one. It's just so magical how we got so close.

And I'd like to blog about my lovely section.

You guys have been such a joy in my life. I'd daresay I had never wished to be in another section other than being in percussion. We could talk nonsensical nonsense without stopping and it's the inane blabberings that caused clamorous uproars, leaving us in convulsions. It's such a sad thing that we will not be playing together again, but it's been great making music with you guys for the past few months. Wishing the juniors all the best in their future endeavours!

2007-07-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

schooling has no longer been an integral part in my life. i wonder why.

2007-06-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

Create your own Friend Test here

try my test!

2007-06-24T02:42:00.000-07:00

it can't be a coincidence.

Everything still feels so surrealistic. No one will dig what I'm saying.

The weather is the bane of my life. The torrid heat, illustrating yet anther interminable fable of its presence, induces unbearable sufferings to the people living in such an indespicable climate zone.

HAIL THE KYOTO PROTOCOL. STOP THE GLOBAL WARMING.

Stop playing games with my heart. I'm dang-ed. One more time and I'm quiting.

home alas!

2007-06-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

I've never been out of Singapore myself for such a long period of time. I sure do miss everything here.

The trip was immeasurably fun. notwithstanding a couple of mundane speeches and the tight schedule, resulting in immense fatigue after a whole day of LGMs (Leadership Group Meetings) and moving around in Washington/New York.

I first went on board Northwest plane with much scepticism about the trip. True enough, I had to overcome some 'calamities' (i should say) before I settled myself down at Sheratons Nationals Hotel. Not only did I break my spectacles, rendering me having to use contacts 24/7 lest I become a blind bat, I actually missed my flight from Detriot to Washington-Dulles. Much thanks to Mark Lee! (Ok, it wasn't just his fault.) We thought boarding time's 530 but that's actually when the airplane flies off. Well, we still managed to get to the gateway just when the plane moved off from the runway. Poof!

Lets keep the unfortunate incidents aside.

Essentially, the trip consists of 3 major United Nations simulations, culminating in one called the Global Summit whereby resolutions are being voted to be passed or not. (oh, and my Singaporean roommate Henry was the chairman of it! hail Singapore! imbar kid I must say) I was the representative of Indonesia and the group of 'Indons-wanabes' was sheer fun kids, with our tagline being 'Don't be a Douche!'

We had discussions on global issues such as the dispute over the Spartly Islands of which we (the Indonesians) had claimed Exclusive Econimic Zone on 5 of the islands, the conflict between America and Brazil over the unorthodoxical production of Anti-retroviral medicine in Brazil and other problems such as human rights and Kyoto Accord et cetera. I must say I've learnt a lot from this whole conference and also was enamoured by how 16year old kids can actually know almost everything in the world. Definitely, also dumb-headed ones who can't even spell simple words.

Sightseeing was an eye-opener too. We visited the FDR, Thomas Jefferson and World War II Memorials which only consisted of photo-takings and random friends-makings. The Halocaust Museum, featured in the Freedom Writers, was of much solemnity and depression as we reminisced how the Jews got victimized by the Nazis. Museum of the Modern Art displayed an array of modern architectures and interesting bits, id est the political cartoons.

The whole conference consisted of 360 people from supposedly all over the world. Yet I realised around 40% of them came from America, 20% from Europe, 15% from India, 15% from Singapore and 10% from other countries like the Africa and Hongkong. There were inevitable American/Europe cliques and I guessed the Singaporeans didn't really get to integrate too well with them. But it wasn't to the extent of discrimination. So I got to know most of the Singaporeans from my school, NUS High, Nanyang, RGS, ACS et cetera. It was great fun, yet, it was only when we got closer that it was time to leave.

I am glad that I was given this opportunity to expand my horizon. It's definitely a trip that will change me, the way I think as well as how I view my previously simple world as a world full of problems unresolved. Friendships forged, unforgetable outings and late nights playing dumbly-addictive grid wars. I'll never forget.

Perhaps, some things happened. But it'll never be the same again. Will I ever fathom how things suppose to be?

2007-06-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

maybe, perhaps,

life's just a game.

could you be the only entity living in this dimension with friends, pre-programmed as machines with pseudonyms of them being called friends? you've been constantly decieved by how this world contain choices and people; 'people' you meet in your route of living are, in actual fact, but just abstruse forms of machines, pre-planned to 'meet' you 'coincidentally' or by 'fate'. you blog, you play, you choose to fail your examinations, yet nothing which seems to be your choice, is actually truly a freedom of choice.

oh, come to think of it, maybe the programming of our (er, i mean mine? or yours? ah you decieving things trying to convince me that there are 'friends' that actually do read my blog) life/lives is what i mistakenly represent as 'fate'. yes, there's probably no such a term of freedom of choice, nor the inherently correct definition of choice/ choose.

this is still utterly queer to me. it poses such an unfathomable philosophical issue that i can't seem stop thinking about. i'm living in such a predicament of ... ahh regression of ideas!

HMM now perhaps, life isn't all just a game. if it isn't then what could it be? maybe a process? a process by who? God?

now, i postulate the idea of mind control, being the most malicious devil i've ever seen. the mind, (or brain?) is the central control station of the whole consciousness of oneself. you're conscious because the mind wants you to. you're asleep at night and the unconsciousness of one being in slumber is just a complete devoid of everything, including the universal existence of time. that's really intriguing, of how time could just be a simple/(not very complicated, i mean) fragment that the malicious mind is made of.

it brings us (me, i mean) back to the question: if the mind is in control of the thinking process and activities, what exactly is the mind made of? is it an alien from another dimension made of something, just something, so unconcievable in my imagination nor expressible through the usage of limited language i know for all expressions of my experiences?

I'm done with this; shall go crazy some other day and get back to reality, which is: it's 3a.m. now and i've a whole lot of shits to study for CT2 which i'll possibly conveniently be absent for, because i'm ill and require time to recover from the trauma of long flights and jetlag!

2007-05-27T01:08:00.000-07:00

Finally blogger's working the way it should have been a couple of weeks ago. I gave up blogging in a template which was in such abysmal condition, but thankfully it's back!

As usual, many happenings took place these few weeks. One major event was definitely Maestia XXII. I'm really touched by some letters from my fellow peers and juniors and the feeling of leaving the band per se hasn't really sank in for me as yet. 'Thank you for the Music' will remain as one of the most memorable band music I'll never forget. The scene of a few of my bandmates shedding tears of joy and happiness, of leaving such a wonderful band after achieving such a great award which will be a milestone in the band's history, will be etched in my memory.

I could still remember the first day I got into this unknown-CCA called band. It was my 3rd choice in my ranking of CCAs I wanted to join. I went for the first practice, skeptical of what's going to happen. However, it went all fine.

To think that was 6 years ago, and now I'm retiring for good from a school band. Friendships made, music played, memories unforgotten.

THANK YOU DHSSB AND VJCSB.

2007-05-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

why is it that blogger's always so screwed up in one way or another?

In retrospect, I could still remember the date 15th April 2005 when I participated in the SYF with Dunman High School Symphonic Band and clinched the Gold with Honors.

IT HAPPENED AGAIN. Yet, it was of much melodrama with the sudden outbursts of jubilation and exuberance as I sat in between Stephanie and Gladys at the Singapore Conference Hall awaiting for results.

When it was announced, 'Band number 9: Victoria Junior College. Gold...', all I could remembered that followed was an unbearable short pause, as trains of thoughts ran through my mind. Is it that we really played till only a Gold standard? Could we have gotten better if we ain't too complacent and less slack?

'... WITH HONORS!' were the two words that sent the group of Victorians crazy. I teared. I never felt such a strong urge to win such a battle but I just felt for how much we went through, though not as bad as going through thick and thin. But certainly enough to drain oneself mentally in consecutive practices. Everyone in my midst jumped off their seats, portraying a victorious scene of a mission accomplished.

WE DID IT. and I really want to thank my section for being such wonderful partmates, spurring me on even when I thought I was the worst SL in the world.

And to the other bandmates, we rocked and rock. =)

2007-05-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

THIS IS IT. TOMORROW MARKS THE DAY OF THE SYF; WE OUGHT TO DO IT!

2007-05-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to:

(In order of appearance. As accurate as I could remember!)

Deborah, Zhuangyong, Sharon, Darren, Shuhua, Charmaine, Changyi, Kahsiong, Pinrui, Eric, Sinclair, Michelle, Vera, Benny, Peiling, Simeng, Waiyip, Jonathan Ko, Jiawei, Kailee, Claudia, Jovan, Mingyi, Jiajia, Dad& Mum, Jasmine, Chianyeh, Janice, Gladys Lam, Sheldon, Cheryl, Small ah ee, Limhong, Samantha, Tracy, Hanloong, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Jaslyn, Jinjiang, Yingxiu, Shaun, Huishuang, Samuel Ho, Daniel Soon, Rayner, Weijean, Desmond Chng, Eepin, Jiamin, David, Elroy, Wenxin, Meiyi, Beatrice, Xinhui, Kohshing, Christa, Jessica, Matthew, Conran, Weijie, Mark, Darren, Stephanie, Eelong, Timothy, Terence, Brothers Lim, Gramps, Auntie Flora, John, Winston, Jeremy, Xiaojia, Jessie, Betty, Yusheng, Jinhao, Kaikeng, Jonathan Liang, Phylinda, Jiahui, Valerie.

THATS ABOUT IT! =)

2007-04-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not an emo-teen. I'm not. Just random periodic mood fluctuations.

All I can think of now is my Napha which I don't want to screw up, SYF which I want to do well in and lastly, my upcoming H3 Alevel Final Examination. It gives me the chills whenever I think of it. I want to hand in the paper, having the truimphant feeling that I've overcame the paper without fear.

Living in Sengkang sounds fun, I shall give it a try! =)

2007-04-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

EFF YOU SUCKER. to think you were one of the better friends I know of, screw it!
so you think you know the world and that only people are interested in knowing about you cause the world revolves around only the almighty you! it was such a shame to have known you from the start.

screw you bitch =)

Why, why must such stuffs just happen to me? Life's meaningless? NO! I will be an overcomer of helpnessless and hopelessness.

Why doesn't anyone want to go to the NUS statistical mathematics program with me, perhaps, I'm the only insane person who wishes to go for that? That sucks, must all the people of similar interest with me, be all PRCs or other than that, freaks who only knows how to study. Ah maybe I'm clicking with the wrong kind of people all along.

NO, STOP HERE! NO MORE EMO-TEEN I'LL BE. I was never, to start with.

I've school tomorrow and I want to be on time! I do not want to risk climbing the gates for fear of falling from it, injuring my limbs and stuffs, though I've been routinely doing it for the past year. UGH I want to be a changed person, I want to be on time tomorrow.

I HAVE TO! MR HAR I'LL SHOW YOU THAT I CAN.

I still do not fathom how some people think. It's just so amusing to be conceived by a diminutive little mind like mine, perhaps it doesn't have such high level of intellectual capacity for me to do it.

whatever whatever whatever, there's nothing here ._.

AHHHHH ANGSTY POST I JUST WROTE. I'm off to have my sushi!

2007-04-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me wna come back home

and i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to

to make you mine, stay with me tonight.

it's not over, it's not over.
yet, nothing seems to be of significance.
i've been dismissed many a times.
go figure, intelligent freak.

WHAT IF I SAY... IT'S PROBABLY THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE, YET DIDN'T? AND I'M STILL HANGING ON TO IT.

2007-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Perhaps things did really change, but I just don't understand how things should work out. J2 life's been such a rush and never-ending assignments or rather, perennial-happening IS and H3s can drive one crazy, only to think of it.

AWESOME AWESOME, I've read two of you guys' entry and yea, I feel that everything's diminishing like how a well-shaped ice cream ball is to melt in due time. I do not hope to envision something like this to happen, I want to randomly call up the awesomes and have dinner when we grow up, that is, when I get to drive, let's roam the streets and own them like we've never done that before. Let's pub at some place and do crazy things, forgetting all the buzzes of hectic city life, as we indulge in my favourite absolute-vodka!

That's what friendship's for.

Yet perhaps, these are just quixotic. =(

2007-04-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

SYF'07 for my secondary school band must have been quite an impactful issue. Yet I guess there's nothing much to talk about it since adjudication on the quality of a musical performance is subjective and intangible; no one can make an objective disagreement to what medal a band recieves. We have to accept what we are given if we were to be willing to believe that the panel of adjucators will impartially grade the standard of the band, devoid of forms of nepotism or sort, by participating in this so-called biennual prestigious 'singapore youth festival- central judging for concert bands.'

Then again, I'm in VJ band and I am going to take part in this 'psuedo-exciting nor seemingly unbiased' competition, notwithstanding certain inclinations to pull out from it. I guess I've my part to play as a leader and I will not bring a section, lacking of the capacity to play the essential two pieces, up on stage.

Mark my words.

2007-04-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

2007-03-27T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is insanely disturbing!

What unorthodoxical hypertonality and total serialism; it scares the hell out of me. Especially when I'm all alone in a living room, centi-metres away from a grandfather clock ringing ominously every 15 minutes. While I am listening to it, I experience phantasmagoria. It seems as though there's this malevolent creature lurking in the midst of high notes, waiting for a chance to haunt the listener. And at times, I do get the unforeseen effect.

THRENODY OF VICTIMS OF HIROSHIMA freaks me.

2007-03-26T07:23:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to have aesthetic knowledge on music?

Have anyone wondered why a piece of music, say 'Thoughts Of a Dying Atheist', is considered good music? Many a time, we conform to what people around us think. However, is there this objective truth of 'goodness' in it that deems the music to be a good music? Well, could the high-pitched rhythmic sensation of the introduction be a generic feature of a good music? Or does the angsty tonal quality of the singer constitutes to it being good?

In my opinion, there isn't such an objective truth. And undeniably, it's the relativist viewpoint of whom the music is being heard by. Say, a jaded classical listener. If he were to listen to contemporary rock music, he would find it annoying and a chore to listen to it, much less appreciating it. Yet, to a emo-teenager, listening to punkrock might just be relishing.

Appreciation of music, id est having aesthetic knowledge of music, is much a relative aspect in the philoposhy of music. This involves the perspectives of the listener, performer and composer. If I were to go on elaborating, the sun would have risen by then. (Note: it's 10:35 PM now.)

Therefore, commenting that a certain sound you hear is good is ultimately a very subjective issue. Be it, if the people around you were to agree. So, Daryl, even if someone else thinks your playing sucks, you mightn't be, after all! HAHA. (you ought not to slit your wrist and be all morbid, thinking it's fun.)

2007-03-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Life, sometimes, throws you right into an abyss; you'll never know when you'll stop falling.
And perhaps it's such harsh reality that hits you so badly; causing a stark realization on your part.

I went book-searching on my own a while ago and couldn't really find something related to my Independent Study! Proposal's on the way back which means the number of days left to consult Dr. Ixer and Wong's running out. Anxiety burgeons!

Common tests' results are kind of expected, did quite badly for Chemistry! Ms Ng, I'm going to do well the next time round!

I can only imagine,
when all I will do
is forever to ever worship you,
I can only imagine,
I can only imagine.

It's a really touching song I almost teared listening to it. I believe in you.

Why should we fear death when what we are going to experience when we die, id est a feeling of nothingness and unconciousness, is precisely what we have/had gone through before birth? Since we do not fear what happens before birth, why fear what happens after death? Perhaps it's the present, past and future correlation that affects what we fathom about things of similarity.

I believe it's a journey yet to commence when death arrives, and there'll be wonderful things happening.

2007-03-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

It's so exciting to meet the usuals once every year,
talk about how 'wat-ER, bot-ER' should be pronounced,
attempt to scare chianzey with ominous letterings,
reminise how life was back in the goodie'old days,
figuring out the idiosyncrasy of sidney,
comment on how chianzey should be more benevolent and sponsor cab fares,
coercing kailee to stay for supper,
making joyce go deep in thought whether she should be an artist or curator,
having supposedly '100%' hope that bus 13 will arrive after 12 mn,
fathoming the relation between the devil and the deep blue sea,
making sense out of the 5 1/2 written on the board,
culminating in us taking a cab home, as always.

MONEY gone to cabbie uncle. gee! yet worthwhile!

2007-03-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

Math, Chem, Physics.
GIVE ME THE POWER.
I do not know why, but somehow it tells me something.

2007-03-05T07:13:00.000-08:00

Blogging hiatus I guess. Many events happened.

I smile. because of you.

2007-02-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

The Usual Four and the Awesome Foursome.

I wasn't too sure when I first made their acquaintance,

Except for the Ben-friend I knew of yore.

Seems queer& superficial to some,

What lies beneath the Awesomes.

Four men of different interests,

Gym; Math; Music; Weirdness.

Two often stern and strict,

while the other, carefully handpicked.

The Usuals; The Awesomes;

No longer Four nor Foursome.

Yet, once together,

never forget forever.

Yes, Three and Threesome.

Forget the sexual pun. =)

2007-02-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

Darn it, my post just got erased. We ought to find a solution for this!

I've no idea what's going on, perhaps, one day I'll find out. Life's full of such anomalies. I've really yet to uncover the convoluted intricacies I've been faced with for many years, it's like some labyrinth I'm going through. And I'm always so pessimistic about being able to do it in due time. Maybe it's just knowledge so gargantuan our diminutive minds are unable to conceive. Doesn't that suck? Could it be possible that this is the one, out of millions, possibility that's happening? Number of interactions within infinite beings is immensely large.

TWICE!

2007-02-12T05:47:00.000-08:00

Love- something no one can ever fathom.

Would it be an inherent quality we possess since birth or could it be a man-made emotion stirred by the people in your ambit?

Thank you, =)

2007-02-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

IS DEADLINE IS TOMORROW. I'LL BE OFF THE COURSE UPON FAILURE TO HAND IN THE PROPOSAL. (UNLESS I'VE AN MC STATING I'VE BEEN RUN DOWN BY A CAR)

what sense of humour VJ expats have, innit?

2007-02-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

Dirty babe

You see these shackles

Baby I'm your slave

I'll let you whip me if I misbehave

It's just that no one makes me feel this way

This is amusingly cool. I never knew Justin Timberlake were capable of such kinkiness. (if there's such a word!) Gee, and no, I do not have any idiosyncratic tendencies towards sado-masochism or something. =)

SEXYYYYBACKKKK. I'm bringing sexyback.

On a sad note, I got zilch for my h3 assignment. I felt really dumb. =(

2007-02-04T05:24:00.000-08:00

KI KILLS. KI KILLS.

nevertheless, I'm going to finish my IS proposal today!

Come'on yo baby, come'on.

Stayover was fun with the new introduction of the game called HOMO. (Hommer!) Knocked out quite early this time round and didn't really shared much facts, other than a certain person's unintentional blabbering of someone in his sleep! Moohaha.

Come to think of it, I've yet to review my past year and all. But then again, let bygones by bygones, why cry over spilt milk or whatsoever. This year, I would want to circumnavigate this treacherous year with manoeurve. I want my As for As, (how dumb can that sound!) and also to go GYLC during June holidays! Night cruise partying does sound fun!

If you mean what you want it to be meant, you've hit the mark. Not once, but twice.

Should the appreciation of music be an innate ability or due to conformity to the masses as a whole?

2007-02-02T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hey kids. Everyone must have been utterly disappointed not seeing any new posts from me while viewing my blog! (Jk!)

Anyway, KI IS is killing every bit of my braincells I have in my diminutive brain. It isn't just a work-through-the-night kind of proposal I could just brace through, but it's time-consuming and requires critical analysis of what you're writing. Brainless craps don't suffice!

Also, school's been quite alright. But to mention about the common tests, it scares me even though I've one less subject to study as compared to the rest. Moohaha.

JTS here I come, please give me nicely cooked bbq food lil' juniors.

2007-01-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

I'm pissed off because I blogged a few times and the shit timed out. (Pardon the bad english.)

Now,

Will you be my valentine? =)

2007-01-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

I do not intend to get any emotional in this entry, but in the case that I do, it was sub-conscious.

Firstly, going to school these days is really dreadful as compared to the past year. No one talks about going out randomly to catch a movie or even to eat somewhere else other than the canteen. It's not because everyone's not free to go because they have CCAs or anything like that but, the fact that it's probably a sin to leave the school or to not mug at any free time. I'm really not getting used to any of these peculiar behavioural disorders of some particular people.

I fathom zilch why some people just would want to keep everything bottled to themselves, even after my countless attempts to offer a listening ear as a confidante. They either blatantly ignored me, or not treasure what I've been trying to do- i.e. to bridge everything and people together so that the school would be a better place for all students to be in.

What I want to say is that I'm tired. Suffering from fatigue, both in the mental and physical manners, I really gave up on you guys. I won't bother asking about other people's welfare or 'intruding' in other's privacy, in a sense. I will just resort to living in this world which inclines towards a face-level friendship. Yes, we can have 'fun' (if there will be any) and talk insipid nothings with each other, and not understanding your 'good' friend any better. I've decided to stay away from people with symptons of egocentricity. I rest my case, I'll seek my refuge somewhere else.

I've been having slight tendencies to just grab someone to be together with; it's probably because I need someone to stand by me tenaciously in this unpredictable year. Yet, I know I've my pact with myself. And it's definitely not a right thing to just, get attached with someone for the sake of having a partner. Is it you my dear one?

How melodramatic that was, oh yes it wasn't suppose to be emotional in any way!

Following, RAMESES kids are the coolest people on Planet Earth now. Other than a certain entity's unofficial hatred, the group has been really fun. Stayover that day was pure Mahjonging with sharing of facts to just a certain extent, with people like Zhuangyong who constantly tried to be enthusiastic about it yet failed to do so himself while it's his turn to share facts. How weird, yes.

What a long entry but I've to tell people, important human beings who read my blog, about the constant pursuit of absolute certainty in knowledge which has caused such an uproar all around the world and that they should stop having such tempting itch to play 'God', i.e. to attempt to have an impeccable knowledge bank about things around them.

Yes everyone, Sidney, as a Ki student, would like to touch 'people'. =) Not in any physical-contact manner, but to touch your hearts. I should dissuade you guys to stop the itch of wanting to have absolute certainty on knowledge as it is, conclusively, not possible. There must be the realm of uncertainty in all statements of supposedly true knowledge, as every aspects of knowledge we have now is dependant on a knowledge inductively concluded. This also means that the conclusion can not be 100% true as it is not a subset totally of the main premises. I've no idea what I'm talking about since and after all, it's 1 a.m in the morning and I'm eager to get off to play my DOTA game. =) watch the 'ascent of the man' video by Mr Bronowski, which is, other than the droning polish-accented voice of his, good. It deals with many mind-tickling questions and provides a well-explained reasoning behind what he believes things to be like.

To end this really elaborated entry, please do not be flabbergasted by the fact that the green light's on at the pedestrian crossing. Though the electrons could be collided by a neutron to produce a chain-reaction, emitting a large amount of energy which in a while. Yea that's how nuclear energy has been founded fundamentally. =)

TAKE CARE VERA.
-Sidney. (p.s. pardon all grammatical errors since I'm too tired to look through and edit it. Burh!)

2007-01-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

RAMESES spells it all for my past few days.

Glad that I signed up to be an Orientation Group Leader (OGL). Rameses was really a fun crew to be in. At first, Rascal was being so withdrawn from all activities, leaving perennial signs of awkwardness and sudden unintended silence. I was quite affected; I didn't feel that I'm up to be an OGL even though I've self-deluded myself all along that it'll be chicken backside, since I could crap, talk and blabber hare-brained nonsense whenever I'm prompted by my senses. Yet it appeared futile, culminating in a insipid-looking Sidney stoning at a corner in mere hours.

Thankfully, everything went well soon after, when everyone started to open up as we had dinner together. Nicholas definitely bears a passing resemblance to Elroy! And I do relish spending time, with lil' kiddos like them. (How paedophilic I sound)

And I hate people having such great symptons of megalomania! Screw yourself.
Oh not to forget, Rameses OGLs are the coolest shits on earth!

I've yet to experience what incessant studying is all about, but it's okay, I'll probably face it soon.
I like NTU. (I've been knowingly brainwashed, I wonder how that could have happen.)

2007-01-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

It's a new year. 2007 seems to only appear on cans and bottles, indicating the expiry dates. It's been great in 2006.

Let's hope the it'll be a better year ahead.

2006-12-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

HOHOHO, and it's christmas today!
'isn't christmas all about acceptance, what about fat Santa...' the skit's lines still can't be obliterated from my little brain.

Yes, and so Band Festival ended not long ago. I must say that it was a really terrible one in terms of musicality, since I daresay I've learnt close to nothing from the monotonous Sectional teacher and all-stuck up Lourens. Oh, but Mr Chueng is a really nice guy with a laconic wit, and a tinge of hongkong accent. (Gladys, come back soon!) Yet, he could enunciate TH- for three effectively, thanks to his living experience over in Canada. Hail Mr Chueng, the charming (asia) guy. Pun intended.

Oh not forget MOHLI. It was really appalling to know that a secretary of WASBE (it is an international organisation!), some sort of a Singapore ambassador, can't speak proper anglais for nuts! She really has the inclination towards Singlish and it is a total shame, staining the image of Singaporeans. Not to mention, she has an excessive assest called fats. Let's all bring her down. It's not as if she can lead well or anything of that sort.

Lastly, my section mates from the Ravel band are fun people. Namely, Sam, Joel, Viknesh, Ernest, Cynthia, Juexuan, Yinrui, Yinghan, Huda. I hope I didn't leave out anyone of them, pardon me, but I didn't attend 1/3 of the practices. Yea, had section lunch on the third day and off we went for the concert! It was great learning experience of knowing new ways of playing and good exposure for myself too. Juexuan's definitely a better player than me on Xylophone, Ms Xylo Queen!

And now it's time for you, Cynthia, to tag on my board!
HAIL PERCUSSIONS, SCREW MOHLI. (and I was it was a tad cooler being Molly, you know, Molly on the shore?) =)

2006-12-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

NSSN was such a blast. To think that only a few people would go for post-NSSN celebrations, I was totally wrong!

30+ coolios embarked on a 135 (?) bus to satisfy our hunger at parkway golden arches which then culminated with the remaining 12 brave souls who ventured to Plaza Singapura with the expectancy of watching a 0110 movie which we didn't, due to my brother's inclination to read P.M. as A.M.

Cinderella was a tad confusing and at times, it sent surges of chilling feeling down my spines at times. Especially the part when the face-masks dropped with a sudden jerk. Xiaorui, how could you fall for the 'it's a cartoon horror' trick!

I sure do relish band life like that, hope such enthusiasm doesn't die down with the dreadful year's aura.

Oh and the concert itself was really good. The playing was quite exceptional; practices were paid off! We sounded good especially finlandia, which I usually do not take a fancy for. Kudos to Xinhui too, nice job on the marimba for Carmen fantasy!

Talking abt Xinhui, I unintentionally found something really suspicious at the backstage of the performance theatre! I'm going to get a ransom from you!

Band's been a great experience for me so far, with fun and 'boisterous' juniors.

WHY ISN'T THERE ANY RECORDINGS FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THE CONCERT? gee, Benny's pissed with youknowwho.

-take care vera.

2006-12-14T08:09:00.000-08:00

I'm majorly pissed off with many things, or rather annoyed to the extent of being frustrated.

Why should MR WONG be so hypocritical as to tell others that our skit's not up to standard and only to say 'oh great job done in the skit' to the TAE members. I highly suspected that it's because we didn't change the ending and insisted on acknowledgements. Too bad you're working with TAE people who stand for their rights and not orthodoxical people who only 'go by the book' and listen to whatever teachers tell them to do so.

If exco sees this and wants to 'clarify' matters with me, I'm sorry I shall not entertain that. I'm just speaking my mind and nothing's to be clarified since I'm 100% sure that all this is true.

I've really seen many of the TAE members putting in much effort into the skit. Kudos to Stephanie especially who really did a great job for it, not forgetting Benny, Vera, Huimin, and the Jonathan who's currently at Taiwan yet excited for our skit tomorrow which he wouldn't be watching. It's unexpectedly tougher than what I thought at first to come out with a plot which people won't roll their eyes at/ comment that it's 'lame, what brainless freaks the TAE people are', getting the dances all choreographed and to organised all the scenes with much perfected transitions.

Sometimes I do wonder why some other teacher such as Mdm Goh would go all out to help us even though she's a Strings' teacher, perhaps she's just a Samaritan unlike the other whom I feel totally can't make it.

So skit's tomorrow, and I hope I wouldn't get all jittery up on stage being the reporter who's partially suffering from cerebral palsy. TAE GO TAE. We know we can do it.

I don't know what to do for Perc Soli, I'm really drained. Sometimes, I do wonder if I should step down from the SL post, it's just that I don't think I've done anything up to standard. This sucks.

And I've to be bothered by the Percussion Identity!

ANGST ANGST.

On another note, you'll probably know I do not really mean what I said. We've known each other for so long and this is the kind of priority you placed me as. Yes I know how you feel, but don't you think it's a little ridiculous for that person to have such constraints placed on you. Especially when you jolly well know that person isn't a truthful one. I'm not doubting the relationship but I'm just hurt that you didn't fight for stance that we're just friends; pure platonic friends. Don't know you how important you're to me, what'll happen if we have to break all communications, till only rare periods of late night talks. Sigh, I just feel it's overly possessiveness in that person's part. Yet this compromise you've promised has to be made. Though I'm sad, but I'll learn to accept it.

You know how much you mean to me.

2006-12-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

It's the 136th post!

Yes and I missed band today due to fatigue and headache! But as a dedicated tae member I am, I went back at 2 for skit rehearsal only to know that there ain't enough people for the skit to be rehearsed. Great.

2G bbq was fun, my junior class that is. Fun getting to talk to little boys and girls about their secondary lives and all. And yea I do not need to pay nor cook, yet I was filled! Wait, my previous sentence sounds paedophilic. I'm not Tea-bag, I'm not!

Oh and section outing the other day was good. Great attendance, just without kohshing, christa and christopher. Dined at Kenny Rogers and watched Open Season which was supposed to leave me in convulsions but I slept midway.

Random sleepover at Terence place that day too. I realised I want my nice Adidas jacket back.

Prom night's really a great event I'm looking forward to next year, not forgetting Orientation and SYF. Tell me I'm not a freak, but I also relish the thought of studying NUS H3 Math!

OH WHO'S IN R7 of orientation07!

signing off, I want to watch Saw III.

Burh.

2006-11-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

i've nothing to blog about.
is it possible between us?

2006-11-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

OH YES and I forgot to blog about the meeting with lp WONGWEIJEAN. You're undoubtedly a corny shit! Reminiscing everything from LUSHIT, friends and all. Yea great to hear you're doing fine there though no knowledge& inquiry for you. =)

And guess what I coincidentally saw her again, the next day. We're fated to meet albeit the long one year of not seeing each other.

Escape is great, sense the sacarsm. Then again, if it didn't rain and if the rides weren't under maintenance, it would've been much better! 5bucks, is after all worthwhile for that amount of laughter, joy and fun with people you relish being with. (e.g. awesome, conran, eelong, NORNOR!)

CASINO ROYALE IS A REALLY BORING SHOW.

2006-11-20T08:44:00.001-08:00

The Anti-Exco Club is a respectable (are we?) organisation that isn't just all about nasty bitchings which many protray it to be.

GET A LIFE.

HAPPINESS, is

TAE.

oh and as the name suggests, we are anti-exco. or else why are we tae? ok i'm personally not, just the certain entity that annoys me. =

and i don't see why the initial write-up was inappropriate.

TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE TAE .
'baby what the hell is going on?'
'charlie, charlie, let's go to candy mountain.'
'wheiiii'

JOIN TAE. we're the epitome of coolness. =)

2006-11-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Nothing's been really the limelight ( i don't know what's lime) of my life these days. Holidays are either meaningless days of cashless relishing at home, or monetary-diminishing related outings to orchard or other places worth gallivanting.

Motor show was great- a wide display of resplendent, posh cars, juxtaposed by random fugly psuedo-'chicks', how annoying. Lamborghini matt type car is the rated number 1 car in my list!

Yes superficial people, do not say something which you after all do not feel for it. Whatever happened to the interest of leaving the place when you didn't have any obligations then.

Step up was really hot, dances were full of jest and dancers were =) haaaawwwt. And it does remind me to choose a course I've total interest in, and to seek my goal in life, not to do something just because 'by doing so, I can have a future.' Total bullshit, unbearable working style doesn't offset the relatively greater amount of pay cheque each month.

Covenant was just a show for girls. Some new-age witchcraft ideas made the story quite interesting though. I want to have the bloodline of the 5 witches of Ipswich, written in the Book of Damnation. AH COOL.

I do not feel that the fine system's going to alleviate the punctuality problem. It just deters people from going to band totally if they are late enough to feel that paying the sum of money isn't worth the trip down to school. Or at least, it has such effect on me. And if I do get to band on time, it's not because that the fine is 'motivating' me to do so. I don't give a damn about those pea-weas.

I'm planning to go for a holiday with my parents to Hongkong again, but I do feel the need to go for band practices, because I can't play a shit now. But looking at the state of the band's playing standard, I wonder if i should just go after all.

BYE SUCKER,get out of my life. I've tried and nothing seems all right; I've chosen to give up.

2006-11-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

Stayed over at Upper Bukit Timah, and only managed to get to school at the very last minute to hand in my insights and reflections. And being in school in plain home clothes and slippers felt a lil' odd.

And why did H3 confirmation close before I accept it? I shall just act as if I'd already accepted it and that the system's got to be blamed for not working well. Ah the glitch of modern technology.

My hands are itching for Mahjong!

2006-11-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

you musser, i can't stand your haughtiness.

( i don't know who i'm scolding, i'm just relieving suppressed anger onto an anonymous entity i've conjured with my imagination. it's unknown; of its existence and appearance. and i'm beginning to hear high frequency notes of 3 notes, semi tones apart. it's annoying and i highly suspect it's a self-constructed noise to deter my uneasiness. i'm off to bed, it's too ear-blasting.)

2006-11-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

will the word 'farewell' have an alteration with its connotations? i've experienced the elseway.
looks like i'll need aplenty of time to recover from all this unprecedented issues. but i'll do it.

somehow.

2006-11-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

as our lives change, we remember. all the times we spent together.

the graduation song, as passe, is always so emotion-filled. though this isn't much of a graduation, but farewell/separation due to unforeseen curcumstances kills it with a tad more lethal blow than graduation.

yes, and i know i shouldn't go on lamenting forever. it's of no use, i want to wallow like an ignorant boy, oblivious of the hard truth of reality. i want to make known to everyone why this culminates in such lugubriousness. yet, i know i can't. i'm 17, an all grown-up person.

the most heartening of all, friends are changing. and i mean really transforming. no longer the joyful persons we were. what melodrama, but must life be such an intricate puzzle we all just get lost in so easily?

we'll be friends forever, i promise.

why must you be so different these days? if friends are not whom you confide and trust in, to help solve your problems, what are they for? don't see us with tainted glasses, we are all willing to lend a listening ear.

don't get strayed away with selfish persuasions. stand with what you really seek to learn and strive from there. you've really shown youself to be a bold and mentally strong person.

and why must you be all psuedo happy when you're not?

since you've decided then work hard from there. even though you ain't that academically inclined through hardwork, you will be able to achieve results. i'm always supportive of you.

if you guys need to clarify stuffs regarding this whole hoohah, buzz off. you know i'm not a very good target.

2006-10-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

yes, it's emo-time.

why must things turn out this way? so many people're leaving the band, and they just have to be the closer ones to me. results kill lifestyles. and i do ponder for the umpteenth time, why must we all be under the bondage of bloody society which only deem academic results as one's ability. intellectual capacity doesn't manifest as the 'usefulness' of people contributing to the society, the perfect culmination everyone seeks to percieve.

and one of the awesome's leaving. yea it's hard to accept such a brutally true reality, that i'll not be able to see that particular person in school anymore. no more inane rantings about edna and all, no more late dinners at our favourite laksa hangout, no more bubbleteas- our favourite flavours all memorised by us but not me. and now, studying seems to be reminiscent. those airport places like starbucks and pacific coffee do hold much memories.

it'll never be the same again.

but then again, it's definitely a good choice to leave. if i were you, i would. and whatever it is, remember the words i always say,
'do your best and be contented with it. and always believe that you can do the impossible.'

even though we were to say that we will meet up regularly, it's quite impossible to do so. but we'll try nevertheless.

i'm glad to have met you in my path of life.

and the other, i really hope you'll give the r-papers another shot. and i'm willing to help you. i can see many, and i really mean many, things have caused your void of happiness in these days. it's really a hard period to go through, and being a 'usual' (pun intended) friend of yours, i'll wish you all the best for everything, be it leaving or not leaving the school. please make a really thorough decision.

all the laughter caused by your laconic wit will be missed.

and nathanael pok. yea and you are finally leaving band. well, it's probably a good and a bad piece of news. bad cause, you'll be hanging out less with cool people like me, and bad being the obvious. then again, good luck for your basketball and everything. fight to play for nssn, after all, you did at least have the slightest responsibility to come for band practices. and as you said, only skipped 3 practices illegally.

on this topic, i don't really know the backstage happenings. but to a fellow band member like me, it seems as if it's a 'you are no longer need, and so bye to your ass, mr nat' case. it's quite disturbing and with all the nonsense which have been put forward back then, is this all you guys can do?

yea, your/my 'best' friend will surely miss you. =) get the drift?

and lastly, mr benny chin. guess what, next year's dinners after band will only be left with me and you. that's with the exception that we have fun juniors who do not go home straight after band practices because they have 'something' on, which is discreetly, studying in other words. study hard and pass your r papers, you can do it!!!

sometimes, i do blame that particular group of people. you guys just 'seem to do things' which do not effectively benefit the welfare of others. self-centredness's just the issue revolving around this. has the thought of sharing, giving and caring cross your mind? you're not there for nothing, people have entrusted much on you and you ain't doing any up to standard.

it's perhaps just too difficult to, but too bad, i'm an angsty person and i have to put the blame on someone to vent all my frustrations.

2006-10-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

hoho, greetings from china.

never did i expect the hotel in china to be so 'heroic', as i quote from the pamphlet given out at the train station. oh and the memorable 'hade mand', id est hand made. it was printed humongously on the shop's front. how interesting.

anyway i'm back from wen deng, a place which is commonly known as little germany. yet i do not recognize any germany-like structures or whatsoever, how odd. currently, at some beach hotel. the pristine beach seems alluring, just that it's 6 degrees out there and i can't do a thing at the beach, so i'm giving it a pass.

i'm embarking on the 30 hours train ride back to guangzhou at 9 in the morning tomorrow! i'll endure the smoky transportation with really bad toilet facilities; it's emetic!

that's about it, oh yes. and i miss singapore!

2006-10-16T02:23:00.000-07:00

this is really getting very very intriguing. (and annoying)

with regards to the FCUKER who lights up my life:
you said that you ain't going to visit my blog again. so i decided to make peace by just deleting your post. and it turned out that i'm a coward? how cool that is.
you have a serious disinclination towards proper anglais. firstly, what are 'unalthough' and 'hyporcite'? you're probably just protraying yourself as a laughing stock.

and the most interesting part is,
the post which you apparently responded to, has no intention or whatsoever by the writer (me) to target any particular soul. yet, someone (by the name of fcuker, how apt!) had voluntarily filled that void for me.

yet, i've matched your IP address my cool fcuker. so you think i don't know who you are, just by tagging from a computer that is accessible by everyone else?

use your pea-sized brain dude.

on another note, i'm flying off tomorrow. away from the bustling singapore for a rustic trip in china where i will take a 23 hours train ride to the most isolated place in china.

2006-10-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

school's been busy with the cornucopia of workloads, id est, sickening project work that will never fail to allow people to include a 'F' alphabet in front of the abbreviation 'PW'. not to mention about the farewell assembly which culminated today.

come to think of it, i'll never get to meet the year twos in the band again. they are the people whose company i enjoyed the most. can't imagine what will post-concerts' celebrations be like? perhaps just the pathetic few of us? no more late night movies with a whole lot of junkies.

you guys have been really cool =)
and have a geat farewell with the school, work hard for the remaining weeks and give it your shot!

- tributes to,
christopher, simeng, waiyip, tracy, mervyn, linzheng, cheong hin, terence, jaslyn, zhiyuan, timothy, andrew. =)

on a lighter note, it's open house tomorrow! and the upcoming NSSN concert's skit will be such a blast with great TAE members spearheading it.

talking about band politics, nothing beats blogging. no more sacking of members because of such unreasonable 'justification' or so they say. THAT PARTICULAR ONE, has been getting on my nerves. you dick, i can't stand your obnoxious behaviour and stop acting as if you own the band. and seeing you so distraught and everything due to the cacophony produced today in the band room tickles me.

L-O-S-E-R,
loser.

2006-10-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

hey you bloody fckrs out there. if you've got nothing to do, just go grab someone's bread to eat or steal pencils from the stationary shop. creating shallow rumours to undermine one's principality isn't a very nice thing to acknowledge a person's presence in the school.

so go screw yourself with a knife, ruler, handdrill, or something quick and impactful that'll create such havoc that your family will die along with you.

FCKRS: that's the way your life should be.

=) then again, i don't really care what people think, i'm going to be off this school soon.

2006-10-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

and promotional examinations are over.

great sigh of relief, i'm going to catch much sleep these days. =)

2006-10-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

physics was a tad tough; i wonder what will my results be.
i've decided not to collect my economics result from that guy, it must be really embarrassing. i can imagine the utter sarcasm intended,'so that's quite a good grade uh.'

2006-09-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

this is the 120th post.

ahhhhhh the exam stress is mounting, though it's gonna be over in just a matter of days.
yes, we ain't going to blog about examinations. they spoil our mood.

why can't things just be simple?

2006-09-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

2006-09-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

'the failure to prove something to be true isn't a proof for proving that it is false.'

yea, though it isn't something really insightful but i felt that it's a good quote.

i, somehow, feel that it has the similar argument structure as,

'do not practise until you get it correct, practise until you don't get it wrong.'

but i guess i'm wrong. -spurious correlation!

anyway, promotional examinations dawning upon me in a matter of seconds! (ok, it's probably much of an exaggeration) and soon, it'll be the deadline of written report, I&E (i.e. insights and experience? ugh it's just another faux-professional abbreviation which means reflection, something utterly mundane) and with the culmination of oral presentation, it'll be pure bliss and joy. =)

i'm much looking forward to SQUAD 0205's chalet which i'm suppose to co-plan with the assistant band major of raffles junior college, mr goh chian yeh. we're currently in the executive organising committee and whoever eligible and interested to join, please volunteer. =)

and also, the camping trip doesn't seem to be materialising, after umpteen futile attempts of bringing it together. burrh. yet again, i want to camp in pulau ubin! imagine being disconnected to the outside, bustling singapore (the phones, or just my phone, will have no reception due to the remoteness of the place), and just basking in the benevolent sun as you enjoy the zephyr blowing against your face. WHOT, that's what i call life man. (ok, this is also another exaggeration. how nice can pulau ubin be.)

that's about it and i'm planning to embark of the 'journey' of searching for the construction of knowledge through means of defining intelligence for my independent study. is there something like the golden ratio that people came up with to define beauty and all? cool.

NIGHT. it's time to sleep.

2006-09-17T01:18:00.000-07:00

i've been quite sick these days (literally) and i hope to get well soon.
i want to get an A for econs so that my teacher can't mock me.
nothing beats true friendship.
i want to get the fingerprint-recognition phone.

see you =)